The C5 Quotes Page

"I'm in orbit around her breasts" - Ron

"I'm not riding with Timly - his sperm's too potent" - Lixx on who to share a cab from the airport with

"There goes Zoe and Dorothy...yeah, I recognize those tits" - Jealousy

Zoe: "Do I look flushed?"
Ann: "No, you're nice and pasty and dead looking"

"The dominant male thing still comes down to on your back, spread your legs, bang, bang, bang, squirt" - Axel

Ann: "You've got lipstick all over your face"
Zoe: "Sorry, I was sucking on Elixxir"

"I vaguely remember coming in an out of consciousness going 'oh, someone's tweaking my nipple' and then falling back to sleep" - Lixx

"I'm sorry to be such a wuss but can you let go of my spinal column now?" - Casper to Zoe whilst biting him

"Too bad there aren't more lampposts for people to walk into when they're staring at us" - silentq

"Didn't I see you on Jerry Springer?" - one of 4 separate Springer show comments made by passersby while we were shopping

"This is like every time I have sex - a bunch of guys cheering me on, she's completely satisfied and shit, my hand is tired." - Gru

"How would you like an involuntary clitoral piercing?" - Benton

"Come on Benton, I have to conquer you" - Zoe

"Benton, I claim you in the name of our Queen, RuPaul" - Zoe

"I'm better than an interactive sex toy" - Benton

Gru: "Do we have something to pop the bottle caps with besides my penis?"
Zoe: "Don't we need something hard for that?"

"That'll make a great Christmas story: Who Stole the Glitter from Lixx's Breasts?" - Casper

"Not only is it Good Friday...it's Goooooooooood Friday" - Thessaly at the strip club

Lixx to Rafe: "Your contacts are freaking me out. It's like looking in the eyes of Satan"
Al Golagnia: "Satan's taller"

"Every time I think of Benton I just want to call him Binky" - Al Golagnia

"I'm the O.G. - Original Goth" - Al Golagnia

"Your pants make me want to bend you over and take you" - Al Golagnia to Axel

"Acres and acres of pasty white flesh" - Benton looking over the balcony

"Thanks to nature and genetics there's plenty of EdVamp to go around" - EdVamp

"JUST SAY NO TO GLITTER!!!!" - Benton

"We all worship Benton - he's our daddy" - Zoe

"Benton - The Wonderbra" - Lixx

"We're not kissing, we're exchanging colours of lipstick" - NoirRose

"Please remove your hand from under your dress" - Patrick to Ann

"My knees are like a 2 dollar whore" - Gru

"You need eyeshadow? You need eyeliner? I gots your fuckin' buckle boots mang..." - Gru in bad homeboy accent

"I want to be Zoe when I grow up" - Thessaly

"I need to go hang out with someone sterile...where's Ron?" - Zoe

"And I'm right behind you with no pants on" - Gru

"Damn - *I* can do that..." - TSM at strip club

"We're all going to hell for this" - Thessaly at strip club on Good Friday

"Penis. The word is penis. Say it with me now." - Ron

"I didn't come here to watch the strippers, I came to play bingo dammit" - Gru

"My god - Ron does have balls!" - Gru

"I'm not gonna fuck up but this comes from many years of watching the Jerry Springer show..." - Ron

"Does god have a big penis?" - Lixx

"Don't take this personally but shut the fuck up" - Gru

"Sometimes it's pain, tragedy, frustration. But sometimes it's rather nice. You can point without hands and dance with it. It's a good thing - you need the penile sensation" - Al Golagnia

"The problem with you Canadians is there's so many of you right above us. You're gonna steal our cheese or something" - Al Golagnia

"FILTER!" - everyone

"The Easter Bunny leaves bourbon for those over 13" - Al Golagnia

"Yes, the dyke is the one keeping Ed up..." - Spider

Looking at a potato chip:
Ann: "Oh my god...it's Jesus..."
Ed: "And he's crying..."

"So what do you thing about during sex to delay orgasm Mr. Bastard?" - Lixx to RatBastard during his Interrogation

"Ed, it's Thursday at 3:30pm...it's too early for Nice Boots" - Spider

"I would have licked your boots clean for that one" - Spider

"You're a lot whiter than I thought you would be" - Spider to Arkady

"...*because* you're a dirty little whore - that's why we love you" - EdVamp and Lixx in unison to Spid

"Thank you for the tactile adventure" - RatBastard

"Satan doesn't want me but his wife does" - Arkady

"Shit, I squirted myself in the eye" - Dark Juliet

"Oh my god - Rat's gone foetal" - EdVamp

"RatBastard: Now an instrument of The Interrogator's Doom" - Lixx

Ed: "something has to happen to be male"
Dark Juliet: "Yeah, the testes have to drop"

"I broke RatBastard" - Lixx

"The perfect man is a Mr. Potato Head" - Spider

"I'm about as butch as a tutu" - Benton

"I have a working knowledge of the female anatomy. I know what all those funny little bits are." - Benton

"Nobody wants to bonk the big queens" - Benton

"I can't imagine the doilie-goths actually having sex" - Benton

"You can only watch 'Buttsizer King of Rears' so many times..." - Rafe

"Don't make me lick any naked pussy and I won't throw up on you" - Rafe